When I returned from holidays I found a thick envelope lying
on my table. It was my new job contract. I finally got a secure position... I
should be happy perhaps, but I am not so sure this is what I feel. I sat down
and went through it. Line by line, page by page reading through all the rules
and entitlements... until I got the 'pension plan' paragraph. As I read it, I
could feel a violent urge to REBEL inside me... All I wanted to do is to grab
my backpack, sell everything I own, grab a car, plane, helicopter, bicycle - whatever-
and go visit a part of the world I have never seen before (the wilder, the
better).
You see I like the job, I like the people.. it's all good
for me... Yet, good things should not feel like you are signing a contract with
the devil. I thought about it a little... then I took a piece of paper and
wrote a letter shortly stating that I do not wish to enter the pension scheme.
You probably think I am crazy... well, truth be told, I
think I am too. However, I am not too worried about that. Crazy people are the
best ones I know... the happiest ones as well.
To me a feeling of security given to you by anything or
anybody outside yourself is nothing but an ILLUSION. It's not real. No one can
promise me I will live long enough to enjoy the money I save now... no one can
promise me I will be healthy enough... no one can promise me that I will spend
my old age in security! The world changes all the time. By the time I am 60,
the world as we know might not even
exist. And even if I live a long, long life and all is still the same... Long
life and sufficient pension do not MEAN pr PROVE that I had the life I desired...
an adventurous life full of passion, crazy ideas, love and sorrow, a life that
is FULL OF LIFE.
If your argument is that I 'need to think about my
future'... Well, that is EXACTLY what I'm doing. Most people spend their lives
'thinking about their future', trying to make it as secure as possible so they
buy 10 different kinds of insurance and pensions and all kinds of
'just-in-case' crap. All in case something happens!
If I have a worry in life it is this one: That nothing will ever
happen to me!
How scary is that! To me that is the worst possible scenario
of life I can imagine. Things happen, that's part of life... both 'good' and 'bad' is beautiful and necessary.
Have you seen V for Vendetta? do you remember when Evey says to Finch: 'Because
he was right, this country needs more that a building right now'? Well, in similar spirit, my soul
needs more that a pension plan right now!
A simple act for the sake of principle... of an idea.... is very
powerful. It will not let me to 'fall asleep'. Even if, in next few
months, the circumstances model my life into a routine... I will remember that I DO NOT WANT to sell my desires for a cheap replica of security.
